Out Of The Darkness In To The Light

As I began ‘drafting’ yet another literary masterpiece 🤭 It was Wednesday afternoon (1st July) and there I was, sat on the balcony doing absolutely nothing, ‘Well that is nothing ununusual for you Eric’, I can hear you all saying, and yes my dear reader’s, of course I can hear you, even if you were only thinking it in your heads 😁 However, I was shaken quite abruptly out of my semi-hypnotic state by my phone ringing, an unusual occurrence I do have to say, not unusual about me being in a semi-hypnotic state but about my phone ringing, as in truth, my phone rarely rings at any time of the day 🤷‍♂️ it is more usual for Shazza to receive phone calls or other notifications on her devices than mine. My initial thought was that it was probably one of those irritating unsolicited ‘Call Centre Tele-Sales type Calls’, which, under normal circumstances I would just ignore, but for some inexplicable reason, I didn’t and instead I chose to answer it and, as it turned out, it was a very good job that I had. It was Silvia, from our local Solicitor’s office, advising me that our new Residency Permits (TIE Cards) were ready for collection, from the Malaga Immigration Office and that she had already managed to secure two back-to-back appointments for us to collect them, although the earliest she could get was for midday the following week (Wed 8th July), so that would entail another 90 minute or so car journey into what would be the furnace of heat in the City, with forecasts currently reflecting that it would be between 40-43 degrees(c) on that particular day 🥵

To say that I was ‘Shocked ! Stunned ! And Surprised !’, in equal measure, would be a bit of an understatement, Why so ? you may very well ask, and even if you don’t ask I am going to tell you anyway, so nothing unusual their either then eh 😁 Well, it was for two reasons mainly, the first being that, as you will no doubt know by now, from my consistent rebukes in these rambles about Spanish Bureaucracy, for they are not generally known for their lightning speed efficiency, but also because I was aware, from the Spanish ‘Doom and Gloom’ media publications, that this recent ‘Migrant Regularisation’ process, which I think that I may have mentioned once or twice in some of my more recent rambles 😂 had actually attracted well over 1.25 million applications nationwide by the 30th June cut off date, of which, according to those that know these sort of things, 400,000 of those applications were made within our own Malaga Province 😲 Now that doesn’t mean that all of those applicants were, or even would be, accepted or approved, but I feel sure many will be, as it was more a Political will to introduce this ‘Regularisation Process’ but, as a consequence of that process, it would also mean that the Immigration Authorities would have to produce even more TIE Residency Cards to those that were successful, in addition to the usual ‘routine’ renewals applicants like ourselves.

Interestingly enough, from the published statistics, ‘other’ Nationalities, originating from some much closer European destinations, who have been living here ‘Illegally’ for quite a number of year’s now, were excluded from those statistics. However, what did come as a surprise to me was that ‘some’ of those ‘other’ nationalities had actually taken to Social Media Channels to say that although they had applied, under the ‘Migrant Regularisation Scheme’, their applications had been rejected, for a variety of reasons, insufficient supporting documentation being the main one but many, who had stated that they were ‘Retired’, had been rejected for they were not now able to meet the ‘Official’ financial requirements of the NLV Visa, the Spanish Government of course wanting migrants of a ‘working age’ which would more benefit the country’s economy, now and in future year’s. Now I am sure that you know me well enough by now to know that my cynical nature would also kick in, on reading many of these Social Media comments from those who stated that they had been rejected, nearly all of them submitted ‘Anonymously’ I hasten to add. So my cynical mind got to wondering, ‘Just how many of these comments were actually ‘Fake’, for why would anyone go on line, anonymously or not, to publicise the fact that they had actually been living here illegally, but had perhaps now wanted to come ‘Out Of The Darkness In To The Light’ but subsequently been rejected. Perhaps it was a warning to say to other’s if, in the future, a similar scheme is deployed, ‘If you have managed to live here ‘under the radar’ for a number of year’s and not been discovered, then don’t put your head above the parapet’ 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, enough of that and back to script………..

So, when the Immigration Officer in Malaga told us, just two short weeks ago, that we would have to wait for somewhere between 4-6 weeks before our new TIE Cards would be ready for collection, you can probably understand my scepticism, expecting it to take very much longer than that in the current migrant regularisation climate, so that is why this unanticipated phone call from Silvia had taken me by complete surprise. Although what will not come as any surprise to you my reader’s, will be to hear that my OCD Buddy had already marked an advance date in the diary, for mid-July, which would be the time for me to start chasing up our Solicitors, to find out if our new TIE Cards were anywhere near ready for collection, so my OCD Buddy has now erased that reminder from the calendar and gone back to solar basting by the pool 😁 So, you my reader’s, should probably now go and get your own OCD Buddies to make a note in ‘your own diaries’, for this is likely to be a very unique and once in a lifetime statement within these rambles, YES ! I am now actually going to announce ‘very publicly’ that, in my personal opinion, the ‘Spanish Immigration Authorities’ have for once, gone above and beyond the call of duty 🙏🙏🎉🎉 Perhaps, I think to myself, some of them are actually themselves followers of these rambles and wanted me to say something nice about them for a change 🤔

Some of you may well be wondering what all the fuss is about, I mean it is only a plastic card that certifies our Official residency status in Spain and, in truth, this Residency Card very rarely see’s the light of day, although we do have to carry it on our person at all times when we are away from our home, just in case we get stopped for an impromptu ‘Spot Check’, which has happened to us only once in 11 year’s. However, that said, this small, credit card sized card, actually does do a lot more than just confirm our residency status. For I now need to update our Spanish Bank Records, for they keep informing me, on-line, on my Banking App, that our legal residency here has expired, and they now need a photograph of both of our new Cards, or it may effect our banking status with them 😲 To just clarify for you, there are ‘Non-Resident’ Bank Accounts, which can attract various Bank Charges, which can be up to €240 a year just in maintenance charges, sometimes a lot more, dependent on the type of transactions that you may make as a ‘non-resident’ on the account. Whereas, ‘Resident’ Bank Accounts do not ‘usually’ attract any ‘routine’ fee’s or charges, even when transferring money to accounts in other EU member Countries. Additionally, this residency card can also have some other useful benefits, in my particular case, due to my more ‘Senior Status’ to that of Shazza’s, it can entitle ‘me’ to either ‘Free’ (My favourite word) or ‘Discounted’ fees, on certain admission fee’s (Tourist Attractions, Cinemas), or even certain products and services, and so, as you can imagine, with me being a poor pensioner, although happily not poor enough to have my renewals application rejected, even a few Euro’s saved here and there is worth having as far as I am concerned 🤭 Then of course there is now the freedom to travel within Spain, although to be honest we could have still done that anyway on our British Passports had we have wanted to, but the production of a TIE Card, rather than a British Passport ‘may’ exempt us from paying ‘Tourist Tax’ if we were to book directly with certain accommodation establishments, but not if we use the On-Line Hotel Accommodation Booking Platforms, and of course, the more important advantage of holding this Spanish Residency Card is that we can now also once again travel further afield within Europe, without the need to go through the inconvenience and delays associated with the recent introduction of the EES processes and procedures, so this small card does actually bring some other very useful advantages along with it 👍

That should now, hopefully, even if only for you my reader’s sakes, be the end of me making any further mentions of this whole Residency Renewal process again within these rambles, or the mention of any other Spanish Bureaucracy, for we have also just sorted our 2025 Tax Bill with the Spanish Tax Agency, so yes, hoorah, that will be a relief to your eye’s in not having to read anymore about it 😂 Although, I will just pre-warn you, that it will only be a ‘temporary respite’, for a couple of years, for then it will be time to do it all again, only on that occasion it will be to obtain our ‘Permanent Residency Status’, which should, well theoretically at least, involve a little less Bureaucratic Administrative Procedures, ‘Not in your wildest dreams Eric’ I can hear you saying already 😂😂

So what else has been happening here in Paradise ? 🤔

For us personally, not a lot, just much of the same really, Beach days, Swimming Pool Afternoons, Shopping, Occasional exercise walks with accompanying Cafe con Leche and people watching activities, the odd lunch out somewhere (usually combined with doing something else like the shopping, going for hair cuts or other appointments), or dinner out, when the sun has dropped in the sky and stopped burning, although then the humidity levels do tend to increase. Dinner’s out, for us at least, are currently just a once a week event and usually just at the weekends but, other than that we have been doing much of the same daily and weekly sort of stuff, although at a lot slower pace of course, due to the current temperatures 🥵 Which does actually link in very nicely with some other more Spanish related news topics……….

As you may recall me saying in a previous ramble, I do not know why the Doom and Gloom merchants are making such a big deal about it this year, the temperatures during the month of June have regularly been in, or even above, the 40 degree(c) range for several year’s now, I remember in our first year of living here on a permanent basis, in June 2023, the temperature reached 42 degree’s 🥵 I guess the only difference is that they are now making a much bigger deal about the number of deaths here in Spain, rather than in the whole of Europe, who are also suffering a high number of heat associated fatalities. However, they do not break those numerical statistics down, like how many of those deaths were actually permanent residents, or how many of them were non-permanent residents who can quite easily underestimate the dangerous effects of the searingly hot and dry temperatures here 🤷‍♂️ I guess that highlighting how many ‘Temporary’ visitor’s die of the extreme heat would not be good for the ‘Spanish Tourism Industry’, in addition to the continuing ‘Anti-Tourist’ demonstrations that are also still going on 🤔

Shazza and myself have adapted reasonably well though, to the Spanish heat over the Summer months, as I am sure other’s have certainly done when re-locating to much hotter countries than their own. There are daily routines that you just do as a matter of course, and I have documented these measures in previous rambles numerous times, so I won’t bore you with them again. We do of course still have to venture out for the normal everyday stuff, but we try to do that during the mornings, whenever possible. Within the last few days Shazza had a hair appointment at her usual hairdresser in the small former fishing village, whilst she was having that done I went to a small Cafe, which is opposite the small whitewashed village church where I enjoyed a ‘Cortado’, which is a slightly stronger coffee than a ‘Cafe con Leche’, and I just sat waiting for her, in the shade enjoying the tranquility.

Now whilst doing so my vivid imagination came to the fore, here I was sat in a ‘Cantina’ style Cafe, rustic clay pots hung from the walls, in a small village with whitewashed houses and narrow streets, a typical looking one-horse sort of town or village that you see in those old American Westerns on the TV, although, on this occasion, without the ball of tangle-weed blowing down the dusty street. At any minute I was expecting the ‘man with no name’ to nonchalantly walk around the corner, brim of his hat pulled down concealing his eyes, chi-root hanging from the corner of one side of his mouth, one side of his poncho slung over his shoulder, hand on the pistol hung in the holster by his side, looking for the bandits that had done him wrong …… Which, I know, you don’t have to tell me, was very stupid really, for when you actually sit and think about it, we all know don’t we, that he did have a name, it was ‘Clint Eastwood’ 😂

Shazza’s hairdresser was quite literally just around the corner from the Cafe, no more than a two-minute walk, so after she was done she joined me and enjoyed a ‘Cortado’ herself, before we headed off, in the car, as opposed to climbing into a saddle and riding off on a horse into the sunset. We headed into our local town as we needed to go and post a Birthday Card to my daughter in Germany. It was a Friday, so that meant that the weekly market was on and it was fairly busy, fortunately though the weekly market is on the seafront side of town and we needed to be on the opposite side, not that it was that much quieter as the main large Mercadona Supermarket is also on the same side as the ‘Correos’ (Post Office) but, like the seaward side, we also know where to park on this side to find a space. By this time the temperature was already at 28 degrees(c), but it was only a ten-minute walk and, inside the ‘Correos’ the air conditioning was doing its job, there was only a couple of other people inside waiting to be served so we were not waiting long, virtually in and out in no time, on other occasions it can be manic inside and we have to wait for ages for our turn. Opposite it, rather conveniently, are three separate Cafe/Bar’s, here in Spain you are never really short of Cafe/Bars to choose from, although none of these are any of our normal regular haunts, but there is one in particular that we occasionally stop at for lunch, if we happen to be on this side of town so, being in the immediate vicinity, and it being in the shade, we did the same on this occasion, and lunch was of course accompanied by the usual mandatory Anti-Covid Vaccine 🍷, well it would of course have been rude not to and, I suddenly realised that it had been almost a week since my last dose of Anti-Covid Vaccine, however did I manage to let that happen 😲

Stomaches full, we headed home out of the rapidly increasing heat of the afternoon, we contemplated getting changed and going down to the pool, but then lethargy took over, maybe tomorrow we both agreed, so I took up my usual position on the shaded balcony, Shazza went to the cool shade of the bedroom to read a book on her kindle device, with the shutters three quarters of the way down and the four French window style doors fully open, it allowed the cooling sea breeze to waft through. We each remained in our favourite places until early evening, just me moving to make us both our regular afternoon cuppa’s, after having first checked that Shazza hadn’t decided to partake in a cheeky little afternoon Siesta 😂 Then later, Shazza would prepare whatever culinary delight we would be having for our evening meal, which of course would consist of the majority of the ingredients being of the much more healthy variety, you know to which I refer by now, lovely 🙄 Then we both settle down in front of the TV, to watch whatever teams happened to be playing that night in the current FIFA World Cup competition, just really a typical sort of day for us at the moment 🤷‍♂️ Now, for all that I may have a rather ‘Whatever will be will be’ sort of attitude to life these days, I do have to confess that I am rather glad that we have got our Residency sorted here in Spain once again, for we both do rather enjoy our generally tranquil lives here, this certainly feels like home to us and it will continue to be our home, until ‘we’, or perhaps someone else, you know to whom I refer, decides otherwise.

Looking at subjects just a little wider afield than our own back door ………. Did you know that the annual ‘Wimbledon’ tennis tournament had started ? Well to be honest, I hadn’t, well not until I saw some newspaper articles on it. I don’t really have to much interest in that particular sport, but even less so when it is held at Wimbledon, but that is only because I am more afraid of having to see ‘Sir’ Cliff Richard suddenly arise from his seat in the spectators area, and then start, for no particular reason, to give a rendition of one of his very old hit songs, although, if you are someone of a much younger generation, who doesn’t know to whom I am referring, don’t worry about it, he isn’t really that significant anymore, only at the ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ sort of season. Unlike, Emma Radacunu of course, the young female British tennis ‘star’, and I use the term ‘Star’ very loosely you understand because, a few short year’s ago now, and barely out of her school uniform, she apparently won a prestigious USA tennis tournament and, for that one time only event, she received, in 2022, an MBE (Member of the British Empire) award from our current King Charles III, although I do have to say, since winning that one tennis tournament and attaining that prestigious award, she has won bugger all since 🤷‍♂️ Neither will she be gracing us with her presence in this year’s Wimbledon tournament either, because apparently, at the ripe old age of just 23 year’s, she is injured, yet again, she probably fell over her ego getting out of her Ferrari 😂 Oh no, I just heard my mother chastising me from afar, “Eric ! If you cannot say anything nice about a person, then don’t say anything at all” 😳 Oops, “Sorry Mum”

As for the football and this year’s World Cup competition 🥱🥱 Yes I know, boring, boring, boring, well for some at least, so I will excuse you if you want to go for an unnecessary ‘Hydration Break’ 🤭 (Some will understand that sarcastic comment more than other’s)

Well, what can I say, England are up to their now customary antics, with their somewhat lack lustre performances in the early stages of the competition but now, with what I have to say was an absolutely brilliant performance, and somewhat unexpected win, against Mexico they now progress into the Quarter Final stages, which effectively puts them just three games away from lifting that prestigious trophy. Can we fans now start singing the infamous ‘Its Coming Home’ chant now, I ask myself, the one we have been singing since the one and only time we brought the trophy home in 1966 🤷‍♂️ and let’s be honest here, it does have a lot more catchy rhythm to it than our pretty boring and uninspiring ‘National Anthem’. Although it seems that we have now adopted a new ‘post match’ anthem, ‘Wonderwall’ which both the fans and the players sing with much gusto to each other. To be perfectly honest with you, although being one of the many loyal and patriotic English football supporters, I feel the need to just remind my fellow fans that we have been here before, many times, haven’t we ? Where we make the latter stages of a major competition only to stumble at the last hurdle 😢 However, on a much more positive note, the good news is, ‘You have to be in it to win it’ and there are quite a few nations that cannot say that at this stage of the competition and, mentioning no names, some of them are one’s that you would have expected to still be at the party, but have departed early 🙄 My personal belief is the same as it was at the beginning of this tournament, and that is that the only way that trophy is coming home to England is if one of the team, or coaching staff, steal it and hide it in their cabin bags 😂

Our daughter (English) and son-in-law (Australian), who live in Munich, are especially miffed, they both went out and attempting to blend in with the natives, bought the latest German National Team football shirts, which they have been wearing in various ‘Biergartens’ in Munich along with the locals, good on them for integrating that’s what I say. But I couldn’t help but think, there was €200 down the drain then, perhaps more if they had splashed out on new Aussie tops as well 🤷‍♂️ Although, I did try to be helpful and sympathetic (Although perhaps not as sympathetic as I could have been 😂) and suggested that they look to see if they still had the receipts for their recent purchases, so that they could try to return them and get their money back, although there probably would be a long queue of people attempting to do the same 😁 I do have the faintest of hopes that our ‘second’ country will also progress in the competition, now that would make a good cup final, again 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 v 🇪🇸, although we didn’t do too well the last time around when we had that encounter, well not the 80% of me that is English that is, but I do at least still have a 50/50 chance of still being able to celebrate something at the end of all of this as long as ‘Ronaldo & Co’ do not spoil the party tonight that is 😳

So, on that note, and because I can hear you all yawning now, and yes, I can still hear you 😁 I will bring this latest ramble to an end.

Hasta Luego mi Amigos, La Vida Es Buena