Act In Haste And Repent At Leisure

I can start this current ramble with the good news that our Residency Permit Renewal applications, which we submitted seven weeks ago, have been approved 🥳 However, let us not get too carried away or ahead of ourselves just yet, because if we had believed that with those approval notifications, we would have automatically received our new biometric identity cards (TIE), then that would of course have been a very silly assumption for us to have made, for, as we have already come to learn here in Spain, Bureaucracy reigns supreme, and with this bureaucracy comes the opportunity, or excuse, for them to just continue to keep making a little extra money from foreigners who have taken the decision to come and live here, and in order to justify the payment of this additional money, they of course need you to submit even more paperwork, so yes, there was now even more form filling as an essential requirement of the renewal process, before we actually get issued with our renewed TIE Cards, but hey, you just have to do what you have to do 🤷‍♂️ It won’t be long before they introduce an application form, with an associated fee of course, to apply for an application form, but I better keep that thought to myself, just in case they realise that they have missed a trick 😲

So, now that we do have ‘formal’ notification of those extended residency approvals, the next stage is for us (Our Solicitors) to make an appointment to attend the Estepona Police Station, which is also the Immigration Office, with the additional paperwork required, which comes in the form of individual applications that we need to submit in order to actually physically obtain our new biometric TIE residency permit cards, a process which also includes the requirement for us to provide new updated photographs, even though we have not changed our appearance over the last 12 months, apart I suppose from having a bit better sun tans of course 🤭 and, whilst we are at that appointment, we also have to have our fingerprints taken, yet again, well I suppose it is remotely possible that Shazza could have solar basted for a little longer than she should, or I could have had an accident with the Barbecue, and we had both suffered badly burnt fingers, so the fingerprints that they had taken last year would be no longer any good to confirm our identities. The bureaucracy doesn’t finish there though, oh no, that would be far too easy so, after that appointment, we will have to wait, for anything between 5-6 weeks, until they notify us that our physical TIE cards are ready for collection, at that point we (Our Solicitors) then have to make yet ‘another’ appointment to go and actually collect them, although, believe it or not, that will not encounter any further daylight robbery 🤗 but, your guess will be as good as mine as to how long that may then take, to actually get yet another appointment date 🙄 Now I guess you could look at it from the perspective that we have nothing better to do with our lives, now that we are retired and just dossing around on a day to day basis, taking things easy just living this life of leisure, whiling away our days drinking coffee and eating tostados, taking leisurely lunches, with of course using some periods of this leisure time to fill in various application forms for numerous bureaucratic processes, which of course will inevitably require having to obtain more supporting documentation, which may, or may not, require translating into Spanish by an ‘official’ translator, at an additional cost of course, albeit that these documents are probably already held by these authorities anyway, from all of our previously completed bureaucratic process. But I suppose the question that I should be asking of anyone reading this, who may be considering taking up residency themselves here in Spain, is ? Have I sold this lifestyle to you yet 😂😂

Now okay, to be completely honest with you, this actual residency renewals process, from start to finish, has not really been that cumbersome in the grand scheme of things, the biggest anxiety is probably the ‘waiting game’ to find out wether the applications to renew the Residency Permits have, or have not, been approved. It cannot be considered as a done deal, just because you may have lived here for the first year and still meet all the requirements for the next two years of residency, no, it is not something that can just be taken for granted, as some who have already gone through this renewals process and, to their horror, had their ‘Renewal Applications Rejected’, have already discovered, which then entailed them having to go through an ‘Appeals Process’, which, yes you have guessed it, entails even more bureaucracy, cost, appointments and waiting time, let alone the stress of not knowing wether at the end of it they may still not get approval and have to re-pack their bags and return from whence they came 😲 However, and fortunately for us, on this particular occasion at least, the ‘Dark Forces’ had elected to bugger around with some other people’s lives for a change and not our’s, so that is worth a small celebration.

The only downside of the whole renewals process for us, is that we were, and currently still are, unable to make any concrete plans to go anywhere else, well at least not for any extended periods of time, as we really did not know how long we would have to wait for each part of the process to be completed or, like now, when appointments will become available and, as they are currently like the proverbial ‘Rocking Horse S**T’, you daren’t risk not being available to attend them when they do finally materialise 🙄 I guess we should have had a little more forethought about timelines when we were considering applying for our initial NLV Visa and Residency Permits, and then we would not have ended up commencing our Spanish Residency, and subsequent renewal processes, over the Summer months, which are periods when we would be more likely to want to go travelling to some other warm parts of Europe, and not have to have had our movements restricted by waiting for bureaucratic processes and procedures to be completed 🤷‍♂️ But of course, at the time, we had no knowledge, or experience, of just how slow Spanish Bureaucracy really was, so I guess that in hindsight we should accept the fact that it probably really is all our own fault 😂

Now when we did our initial Residency Applications last year, we were fortunate enough to get an appointment at the Police Station in Estepona within a week, but not so this time around, as currently there are no appointments available, our Solicitors, who have been doing some of the administrative process on our behalf, have to go on to the Immigration Department Database every morning, to check to see if there are any available appointment dates, but so far, after trying for the past week, their are still none available in the foreseeable future 🤷‍♂️

The unavailability of appointments are primarily due to the upcoming new European EES/ETIAS system, which is now scheduled to come into force at the back end of this year (6th October), although it was scheduled to come into force a couple of year’s ago and has consistently been postponed, time and time again, due to ‘Technical IT issues’, so it has never actually materialised, so we will not hold our breaths, as there is still no real guarantees that it will happen this time either 🤷‍♂️ This EES/ETIA process is a similar system to the one also being introduced by the UK, the UK one being called the ETA system, which is also scheduled to come into operation on the same date as the European EES/ETIAS.

So, okay, as this new EES/ETIAS process will not directly effect us, as we are now official residents of Spain and have Biometric TIE Cards, you may well be asking yourselves, why then would this have any impact on us ? Well, under normal circumstances it wouldn’t, but, prior to that ‘gift that keeps on giving’, and yes I do mean Brexshit (Who would have thought that I would still be using that disgusting terminology after nearly two and a half years 🤔). Anyway, I won’t get into that subject again, so quickly moving on, for those who had opted to take permanent Residency here in Spain, prior to that Brexshit nonsense, they were not issued with the Biometric TIE Cards and at that time, were issued with Green paper documents, which do actually serve exactly the same purpose as the biometric cards and they do still remain valid legal identity and travel documents. However, once the new EES scheme does come into operation, apparently those paper forms ‘may not’ now be accepted by ‘other’ EU Border Force Countries Immigration Authorities 😲 I do now have to allow myself a bit of a wry smile because I thought that all these EU member countries were now supposed to be a joined up community, but apparently not it would appear 🤷‍♂️ So, as a consequence, both the British, and the Spanish Governments, have issued the advice that those in possession of the old paper forms, should apply to have them replaced with the new Biometric TIE Cards, and so, as you may well imagine, this is now creating a huge backlog in the appointment systems.

There is nothing that we as mere mortals can do about it, we just have to sit and patiently wait until an appointment date/time becomes available and, if that is not before the expiry date on our current TIE cards, well, in theory at least, that shouldn’t be an issue as we will be able to produce a copy of the letter from the Spanish Immigration Authorities stating that our Residency Permit Renewals have been approved, although, I have to say that it does beg the question, will any of these ‘other’ EU countries Immigration Authorities also actually accept that official Spanish piece of paper either 🤷‍♂️ You really couldn’t make any of this stuff up could you, this really is a ‘Real Life Comedy At It’s Best’, although it is also actually a bit scary, because if any of the people making these sort of decisions had an ounce of intelligence, they could end up actually being bloody dangerous. I mean it isn’t as if we don’t already have enough ‘Loony Tunes’ already running various Countries and Governments around the world as it is 😲 But realistically, at least for the time being, or in the very near future, I do not think that Shazza and I anticipate travelling back to the UK so not having our updated TIE Cards is not an immediate concern. If and when we do decide to return to the UK on family visits, we too may now have to be registered on the UK ETA system, which is probably good news for me as it provides another good reason for not having to return 🤭

Now is it just me or does anyone else remember when travelling anywhere around the world, although perhaps not Eastern Bloc countries, used to be quite a simple and straightforward affair as long as you had a valid passport 🤔 Now we are rapidly moving towards all aspects of our lives being dictated by Artificial Intelligence (AI), having to book transport on-line, having to print boarding cards on-line, having to pre-book luggage on-line, having to have on-line facial, or fingerprint, recognition protocols, double protective security password procedures, all which rely on mobile technology that also relies on you being able to gain a signal to actually gain access to these protocols 😤 Bring back the horse and cart so that we can just go back to quite literally taking care of our own horse s**t, that’s what I say 😁

You know what, us Dinosaurs used to be quite happy just getting on with our own lives, sleeping when we wanted, going for walks, afternoon naps, doing a spot of foraging when we got hungry, nobody else caring wether we did any exercise or wether we were overweight or unhealthy, it was more a case of jungle survival, survival of the fittest, but these days everybody just seems to want a piece of you, to know everything about you, to control you, and to dictate the way that they want you to lead your lives, sometimes I have to wonder wether ‘Progress’ is really the healthy option 🤔

However, after digressing slightly 🤭 Notwithstanding the above, it is actually a rather nice feeling to now know that we can ‘officially’ remain here as ‘Legal Immigrants’, even without our horse and cart, well for another two years at least, before we have to again go through these renewals process and procedures to then apply for what should be our last 2 years extension on our ‘Temporary’ residency status. Then, and only then, if we still want to, we can apply for our ‘Permanent’ residency permits which, thereafter, are only renewed at five year intervals. After being a resident for a minimum of 10 years we could, if we so wanted, apply for ‘Spanish Citizenship’, which then totally negates the requirement to keep renewing our five year residency permits. That process however does involve a lot more bureaucracy and is also dependent on attaining a higher, more formal level, of Spanish. But, I hasten to add, ‘Citizenship’ is not a mandatory requirement after being a resident for ten years, as we could, if we wanted to continue living here, just keep renewing our residency permits at five year intervals 🤔

So moving on to other things, and another piece of good news for us, is that at long last, finally our kitchen installation, which you may recall that we had done at the beginning of March, is now all complete. We did have some minor ‘snagging’ issues and were just waiting for replacement parts to be produced, and delivered, by the external suppliers to our kitchen Installation company, which has taken much longer than expected. So, although at the time of the installation completion we had still been able to use 99% of our kitchen space, and the majority of the appliances, it is now nice to see the final touches and replacements all completed. We ended up with an upgraded Fridge/Freezer and a better quality side panel to the new breakfast bar, at no additional cost to ourselves, and the Kitchen Installation Firm gave us a discount on the final installation payment, by way of a gesture for their delay in the completion and our patience.

We are now entering the much busier Summer season over here, a period when lots of ‘Fiestas’ and ‘Carnivals’ will be taking place all over Spain, whilst some ‘Fiestas’ are celebrated Nationally, other’s are just localised events held within certain ‘Regional’, ‘Provincial’ or ‘Municipal’ communities. So, just by way of potential interest to some of you, I have listed below some of the events that are being held within our own local municipality, although it doesn’t list the additional Medieval Markets that will also be held in the former fishing village and our local town of San Luis de Sabinillas, however, those dates have not yet been publicised. Additionally, although Shazza and I consider the likes of Estepona (20 mins), San Pedro de Alcantara (30 mins), Marbella (40 mins) and even Malaga (60 mins) to be pretty local to us, and within our ‘Province’ of Malaga, they are not within our Municipality so they have their own calendar and schedule of events, which we currently do not have but, if last Summer was anything to go by, should mean that almost every weekend of these ‘official’ Summer months there will be something or other going off in our neck of the woods, although I am not certain that we will attend all of them again this year 🤔

As it conveniently works out, there is an event on whilst Stacey and Dean are with us for a week, in July and, fortunately, neither do we miss out on anything during the period that we are away in Austria at the beginning of August, also in mid-August, there are events on during the eleven day period that Chris, Sarah and our three grandchildren are staying with us 👍 So, as you may imagine, I am very pleased that I had the forethought to give our local Mayor an advance copy of our busy Summer Itinerary, so that he could organise the event dates to fit in with our own upcoming hectic schedule 😂

Our communal pool is accessible once again, as are all the other’s in the neighbourhood, and so all the sun beds are out, there are the associated sounds of people enjoying being out in the hot sunshine and once again enjoying the cooling water, our ‘residential’ community, and the one adjacent to us, are not large, so the noise from the pool areas is not intrusive, although I do have to confess that we have not actually used our own pool facilities yet 🤷‍♂️ Both the day and night temperatures are now such that we keep the french style doors and windows open both day and night, so the ‘Mosquito Net’ is now up over our bed again, although there are no signs, or sounds, of them just yet, but better to be safe than sorry 🙄

Now I know that it may also sound a little bit strange for me to say, as we live here all year and so are used to the sun shining and having warm temperatures most of the year, but even for us, it does now actually feel that the Summer proper has arrived, with all the associated holiday ‘vibes’ that come with it. Although we have spent many Summers here in the past, albeit only on a temporary basis, and although last year was our first full Summer here, we did seem to miss out on a lot of it, with being distracted by all the initial residency stuff which dragged on and on, and then getting the car imported, so by the end of it all we found ourselves at the start of the Autumn months, although, now that I reflect upon that period, we did actually manage to attend several ‘Fiestas’. Now though, we can actually enjoy and fully appreciate the transition, from the much quieter months, as we see the place coming to life with tourists of all Nationalities. The Spanish holiday makers, who also flock here in their droves from the north of the country or further inland, will also arrive here soon too, many of them living away from coastal areas. The Schools in Spain close their doors for summer around the 24th June and do not re-open them again until around the middle of September. The more popular ‘Costa’ resorts, a little further up along our coastline, will be very much busier than us of course, but it is all relative really and we are pretty grateful that we are further away from the more rowdy holiday ‘clique’, we don’t have the Nightclubs, Casinos or the ‘all night’ Bars, although during the Fiesta’s the revelry does tend to go on until the early hours, but if I were to do a comparison with the UK seaside resorts then I would certainly say that here it is a much more family orientated and civilised affair, ‘More Like ‘Bournemouth’ than ‘Blackpool’ if you know what I mean 🤭

But this year I am going to be a little more prepared for the hot Summer months. I need a hat to protect me from the heat of the sun, I do not suit Baseball style caps, or those straw type hats or even the linen hats that a lot of people here seem to wear, my Winter cap is far too heavy for Summer use. Last year I made a hasty purchase from one of the Medieval Market Stalls, and no it wasn’t a suit of armour before you ask, it was one of those trilby style hats, in a nice shade of blue, which, initially, I thought looked okay, but you know what they say “Act In Haste And Repent At Leisure”, fortunately the price I paid for it didn’t leave me in tears when I threw it in the bin. So I have been on the hunt for a hat that may suit me, a proper hat this time, quality as opposed to ‘Tourist Tat’ and doing some research I found myself drawn towards the Panama Hat, which comes in several different styles. Now you know by now what I am like for ‘History’, but whilst looking at the different styles on several different on-line resources I read a little about its origin, which, strangely enough, was slightly interesting. It originally became popular during the Gold Rush in 1849, when it was worn by people whilst crossing the Isthmus of Panama, and although it is referred to as a ‘Panama’, it actually originates from Ecuador. It is described as a ‘practical’ but ‘elegant’ form of sun protection, although I already know that neither of those words can actually be used to describe myself 🤭 It is completely hand woven from 100% natural fibre, renowned for its fine weave, strength but also its lightness, a straw which is made from the bleached leaves of the ‘Toquilla Palma’ 🤷‍♂️ Well, I was looking for something practical and hard wearing so the description sold it to me, just what I was looking for, rather than one of those awful ‘Kiss Me Quick’ things, or other hats that one may mistakingly purchase off Medieval Market Stalls 🙄 I discovered that there was a local hat shop in Estepona, and one in the rather plush Marina complex at ‘Sotogrande’, that sold ‘Panama Hats’, so my quest commenced, although it was cut short prematurely in Estepona when we discovered that the shop had closed down. Would I have a little more luck in the plush Marina Resort of Sotogrande ? Of course I would, a place that accommodated multi-million pound Motor Yachts, a place that personified both ‘Quality’ and ‘Elegance’ by the bucket-full, but the question would be, would they let us in with our non-designer short-sleeved shirts, shorts and well worn flip flops 😲

The elegant elderly lady in the shop was very nice and extremely patient as I started to search, for not only the right style of Panama, but also the right colour, and of course size. I trusted Shazza’s opinion and so, as I tried each one on, if she said that I looked like a “Twat In A Hat” then that was good enough for me and it was instantly discarded. It came down to just two styles and colours but we both agreed on the same one. “Do I look like our man in Havana” I asked, as I preened myself admiringly in front of the large mirror, she laughed, “More like the man from Del Monte” she quipped 😲 So it was, the decision was taken and the man from Del Monte, he say ‘Yes’ 😂 (Only people of a certain age group will remember that particular TV Advertisement)

Mission accomplished and we spent some time enjoying looking at the wonderfully expensive and shiny Motor Yachts on their moorings, now if only I could have finished off the perfect day by walking up the boarding ladder, wearing of course my new ‘Panama’ hat, onto my very own ‘Bering 65’, or ‘Nordhaven 60’, its what dreams are made of 😉 Instead we promenaded through the Marina complex, stopped for a coffee amongst the elite and then, before the security guards could catch us and throw us out, we returned to the car, drove to a cliff top restaurant, overlooking the beach and sparkling blue waters and enjoyed a very pleasant lunch accompanied with a rather pleasant Anti-Covid Vaccine, well it would have been rude not to 😉

Until the next ramble,

Hasta Luego mi Amigos (La Vida Es Buena)